Guys, I say a lot of stupid things...
Like when I accidentally told a perfect stranger I loved them as they got of my tour bus, or when I told an entire room full of Young Women ages 12-17 that glitter was the herpes of craft supplies, or that time in Chile when I told a person who had given a talk in sacrament meeting that I liked his speakers...I say a lot of dumb things.
When Tyler and I were 'dating' (aka when Tyler and I Skype'd each other before we decided we were in love and got married) he had started calling me Tex, which I was not okay with so he asked me what he could call me and I told him Sister Best...Which is funny now, but at the time I was completely mortified by my lack of a filter.
So it comes as no surprise that last month, I got up and bore my testimony and I said a lot of stupid things, or things that, after leaving my mouth I felt were stupid. At the time the things I was saying were very true to me, but after I sat down, I felt like I had said more than I should have, and that I had strayed away from what a real testimony should have been like. I have honestly spent the last month avoiding a few women in the ward because I thought I had probably offended them with my comments (which weren't bad, I didn't swear or anything!) and I felt awful about it. While I may not always think before I say (or blog) things, I really don't ever have any intention of ever hurting anyone's feelings, so I was beating myself up pretty badly about it. Of course I did this all internally because, well, bruises make people ask questions, and since Tyler and I already like to pinch the inside of each other's arms when the other person is doing something in public we don't approve of, (its weird, I know) I don't want people to think I am masochistic or that Tyler beats me!
So yesterday, we were sitting in Sunday School and the teacher (who I LOVE!) asked everyone to think of a moment in Sacrament meeting when someone said something that was an 'Aha!' moment for them. I was pondering on a few and how I would explain/share it when a woman raised her hand and talked about my testimony, and a prayer I had given a few weeks later, and how it had really helped her to see some situations in her life in a different light. I of course started to tear up.
As I walked in to Young Women's, one of the other advisers gave me a hug and an 'attaboy' kind of comment for what the other sister had said about my testimony and I confessed to her that I had felt awful about it. Then she said to me, 'You know, sometimes we follow the spirit, and then spend a long time doubting that it was the right decision until something like that happens. Don't ever feel badly for following the spirit!'. And there it was.
How often do we do what we feel is right and then spend weeks, months, even YEARS kicking ourselves for it? I can look back at A LOT of hard decisions, that I prayed about, that I felt were right decisions at the time that I was making them, that I then doubted and maybe even regretted a little. What is funny about those decisions is that as I look back at them, I KNOW that they were the right decisions, and that had I made any other decision than the one I ended up making, it would have been the wrong choice.
Trust in the Lord! HE really is looking out for you, and trust that if you are doing all you can, you will be led to the decisions, and yes, even words that are needed.
But maybe don't compare glitter to herpes when you are supposed to be setting an example. :)